I read “The Absolutely True Story of a Part-Time Indian” by Sherman Alexie during my freshman year of high school.
I remember being excited to read it at the time because it was the first time we ever read anything by a Native American author. The book tells the story and adversities faced by a young Sherman Alexie, who had to attend a public school off the reservation. I thought I would be able to relate to it. But now, looking back on that time in my life, I can’t remember anything about the book that stuck with me. Now, it may be that I just have a really bad memory or it may be that the book was nothing more to me than a token in our public school curriculum. In the name of diversity, equity & inclusion. In the name of Indian Education for All. It also may be that I honestly just couldn’t relate to it. I understood the jokes, references, etc. But it wasn’t an experience I could call my own.
Although I’m Native American, I didn’t grow up on the reservation. If Sherman Alexie was one half of a part-time Indian, I felt like I was the other half. Although, my blood quantum may tell you otherwise, coming in at nearly 94% Indian Blood. Sure, we both had to grow up walking in two worlds but I grew up totally immersed in the western way of life and my culture felt foreign to me. I had a hard time figuring out who I was and struggled with my identity for a majority of my adolescent years.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that being Indigenous is so multifaceted. I’m so proud of our younger generation for not accepting the status quo of what it means to be Indigenous and for stepping out of the boxes that our ancestors were forced into. I’m proud of my mom’s generation for being strong and graceful in navigating this new way of life while trying to keep our old ways alive. In a way I feel like the middle child, in between two generations that have had totally different and unique experiences. I feel blessed to be guided by our past and to influence the future of what it means to be Indigenous, what it means to be Apsaalooke.
We’ve seen what it looks like to move off the reservation and experience what seems like an entirely new and exciting world. It’s a story that is always interesting to me, a story that I used to wish was mine. Not because of the difference in complexities, nor because I think that growing up on the reservation somehow makes you more Indigenous. But because it’s the story that’s always told in the media. It seems as if the media is only interested in stories that seem “Indian.” And it’s almost always whitewashed still. Almost as if moving off the reservation is seen only as a positive. As if you can only be better if you leave home. What I think is more beautiful is the story of our people coming back home. The story of healing generations of trauma and calling our spirits back. I think as long as we know who we are, it doesn’t matter if we live on the reservation or not. Reservations were made to keep our people in place, to keep us stagnant. Wherever you are in America, you are always on Native land.
Furthermore, even though “The Absolutely True Story of a Part-Time Indian” was indeed written by a Native American, it was written by a Native American male. A male who has since been accused of sexual harassment, in particular, towards other Native American female authors. Even before the allegations, many schools removed his book from their curriculum. Although it may seem like a loss to the Native American community, I feel as if it’s neither a win nor a loss for Native American women. As Native American women, it seems as if others have always spoken for us, despite us being more than capable of making our own choices and telling our own stories. Male and female roles have always been distinct, until we were seen as a monolith, until we were put in a box. As colonial acts of rape and homophobia have made their way into our communities, it’s important now more than ever for Native American women and two-spirit to tell our stories. And this is just one of them.
This is for the girls who have big imaginations and love to read.
This is for the girls who were told “get out of the water now or you’ll turn into a mermaid!”
This is for the girls who have loud personalities and love to do their makeup.
This is for the girls who grew up in the foster care system, away from their family and culture.
This is for the girls who love to run and are friends with the honeybees and flowers.
This is for the girls who love EDM and lend an ear to their friends in need.
This is for the girls who have imposter syndrome and are still just trying to find themselves.
This is for the girls who take care of their loved ones and have had to grow up too fast.
This is for the girls who grew up without a dad and are still learning how to bead.
This is for all the kids like me.
Many Moods of MarLynn 